The Economics of Sex

If you’re on Twitter, I’m sure you’ve either seen or taken part of the conversation of “Niggas aint shit”, I know for a fact I’ve been an avid contributor to the dialogue. Giving the increase in the frequency of this topic, I think it’s time to have an adult conversation about it. I recall seeing a video a few years ago which was interesting to me at the time but happens to be much more relevant to me now that the concept of sex, marriage, and their correlation, or lack thereof are more prevalent. Watch the video below!

To begin, I want to discuss the concept of sex vs. marriage. I think prior to our generation (millennial’s), or even our parents’ generation, it was assumed that if you’re having sex you are married. Unfortunately that isn’t the case for us anymore; in fact, having sex and thinking about marriage have become two completely separate things.  How does this tie into the “Niggas Ain’t Shit” conversation?

Well statistics show that there are more men looking for sex than marriage and more women looking for marriage than sex. Men tend to “look for fun” while women claim to not be “interested in games”. This is already sounds like a formula for disaster given that fun=games yet sex =/= marriage.

Now there is a divide between those who simply want sex and those who want sex but are still looking for serious relationships and marriage, and as the video states, this split market poses a problem for women. Although women tend to call the shots for short term sexual relationships and are therefore more selective in that process, men get to the call the shots and are more selective during the marriage initiation process. Men tend to be picky and insist on extensive sexual experiences before committing.

The reason while women often feel cheated in their relationships and/or situationsips with men is because men are able to maximize their rewards while investing fewer resources, or in layman’s terms, men can get what they want from women (sex), without having to date, spend time/money, or marry. From a business prospective, men seem to be the most profitable. Women on the other hand are finding L’s after L’s on their income statements because they are putting so much into relationships such as time, money, their bodies, and in extreme cases, their souls, yet end up with nothing but a story to tell.

In our parents’ time and far before, it may seem that less people had sex and more people were getting married, and I think it is because women had an unspoken pact to set a high market value on sex. As of now, that pact no longer exists. So what can we do to start turning this around?

Firstly, we must realize and understand that men tend to behave as well or as poorly as the women in their life permit. If you allow a man to only contact you for sex, he will only contact you for sex. If you let a man text you for 3 months without initiating a date, you will never go on a date. If you require a man to put a ring on your finger before sex even becomes a topic of discussion, you might be single for a while, but sis that ring will come!

Secondly, I think that as women, we need to shift the blame of niggas not being sh*t from niggas and take a quick look at our own faults.

Before I go into this next section, I want you to understand that I in no way support the sale of a woman’s body for monetary benefit. This conversation is based on the idea of sex and relationships, not sex and money.

Lastly, women must stop seeing each other as competition but as business partners. Collusion is defined as secret or illegal cooperation or conspiracy, especially in order to cheat or deceive others. It seems a bit harsh, but women must collude/work together in order to increase the market the value and price of sex. Granted, I acknowledge the fact that we live in the age of sexual liberation, but we can’t have our cake and eat it too.

Think of market value as the price a seller (you) thinks their good (sex) can be sold at (given to a man). Think of market price as the price a consumer (a man) is willing to pay for your good (sex). Here, you should think of price as what the man is willing to do, such as take you on dates, spend time with you, marriage, etc. The problem here is that women tend to undervalue themselves, which inadvertently decreases the price men are willing to pay. The equilibrium principle of economics states that prices adjust until the amount that people demand of something is equal to the amount that is supplied. At this point, you have a market price equilibrium, where there is enough supply of the good for the people willing to pay the equilibrium price (whatever that may be given your situation) to purchase that good. As price decreases (1 night stands), the amount of consumers willing to purchase a good increase. An increase in price, say you require marriage before sex, will decrease the amount of guys interested in purchasing the good (pursuing you just for sex). While this may seem counterproductive, once the good is sold, you make a higher profit than if you were to decrease your price (let’s say 3 dates till sex). If women demanded a higher market price, “we’d see more impressive wooing efforts, greater male investments, longer relationships, and more marriage”. As the old saying says, quality is better than quantity. So if multiple relationships is what you seek, do you boo. But if 1 long lasting and meaningful relationship is what you’re looking for, it’s time to inflate your pricing. Also knowing what you want and being able to communicate that is a power we seldom use; when you find someone you’re interested in, tell them exactly what you’re looking for to avoid misunderstandings later in the relationship.

Sex is only one part of many that makeup a relationship, so please don’t think waiting till the return of Christ to have sex will make a man wife you, cause it won’t. But take some time to figure out what it is that you want and what option is best for you to get it. At the end of the day, each woman is seeking different things and is more than able to do whatever she wants with her body. But moral of the story is if you’re looking for a serious relationship, marriage, etc. don’t be cheap, cause cheap doesn’t last.

Yes, Niggas truly are not shit. But are we to blame? Comment below!

Blossom,

Bimpe

Contact popular website company to Fix WordPress Errors with Geometricbox

6 comments so far.

6 responses to “The Economics of Sex”

  1. Bianca Bradshaw says:

    My dear friend, as come may know Economics and Sex are among my favorite subjects to study and discuss.

    To comment on the intro, I know some women who are apart of “Niggas aint shit” twitter, lol, don’t actually believe that all men really ain’t shit. I know that I have my fake “Niggas aint shit” moments, however, I think most grown women know that it is in fact, a generalization that is now used for jokes etc.

    I agree with you on the notion that sex and marriage through the years have become two separate concepts, which can be attributed to the increase in women in the workforce, the feminism/womanism movement, and other movements that initiated the elimination of a patriarchal society/ mindset.

    While I agree with some of your statements, and of course understand the thought process behind them, I do want to highlight this idea of men taking sex from women, “men can get what they want from women (sex), without having to date, spend time/money, or marry. From a business prospective, men seem to be the most profitable. Women on the other hand are finding L’s after L’s on their income statements because they are putting so much into relationships such as time, money, their bodies…” the whole concept of sex is that it’s a two/ three/four way street (if that’s what your interested in lol) but I say that to emphasize the fact that sex is supposed to be a give and take for both the (wo)man and (wo)man (to be inclusive here), so essentially if a “woman is giving a man sex”, the man is also giving the woman sex. I also wanted to add that if your partner is just looking for sex, then they are just looking for sex, some individuals tend to think that if they stay long enough or if they engage in the other’s desires, then a fruitful relationship will come of a situationship. No. Understand what the other party wants, and if it aligns with yours, engage. if it doesn’t, dip out cuz (we nuh ov dat).

    I also wanted to point out this value/ price of sex, as you mentioned, we do live in the age of sexual liberation, so I believe we can have our cake and eat it too (after all, a cake is baked to be eaten lol) . Although I don’t quite agree with your theory, I enjoyed the incorporation and use of economics to explain it. “If women demanded a higher market price, “we’d see more impressive wooing efforts, greater male investments, longer relationships, and more marriage”. If we, as a society disengaged from this and subscribed to: the idea of being completely honest with our intentions, focusing more on a genuine bond/connection in a relationship before marriage, less emphasis/ pressure on women pertaining to marriage because (using economics), it’s only profitable in the short run, and not the long run, as your utility decreases which in turn increases the amount of unhappy homes/ divorce rates, and lastly incorporating love ethics in all of this, then we are set!

    Your concluding statement, “Sex is only one part of many that makeup a relationship, so please don’t think waiting till the return of Christ to have sex will make a man wife you, cause it won’t. But take some time to figure out what it is that you want and what option is best for you to get it. At the end of the day, each woman is seeking different things and is more than able to do whatever she wants with her body” is perfect!

  2. jeff says:

    Although fairly conflicting the article made for a pretty good read. Personally I found many aspects to be subjective.. First should mention “Niggas ain’t shit” quite frankly because the need to be anything in exceedance isn’t very much required nowadays. The idea of change is just that in today’s time…. an idea! Guidelines aren’t enforced. If i were worthless and invested little to nothing into my particular “partner” yet was rewarded with all the same benefits/privileges etc of one whom of which would willingly treat a woman as if she were a queen-for what reason exactly should one CARE to change?! I mean technically one can’t hurt a another any much more for that they’d allow. As older folks would say. “Don’t hate the player, hate the game” secondly you mentioned statistics… for that arguable. No listed sources, records, numbers etc. Using that ideology it’s fair game to assume most woman roaming here are whores… or something alike idk. I guess would be backed by the exceedingly high number of woman whom of which are pushing strollers while VERRYYY single vs. those who actually wear a wedding band to should for the person that of which they have a child by. Guess my point is it’s kinda unfair to assume (x) amount of guys only want sex. Three in comparison to money most guys don’t have to pay for much of anything besides a premium Netflix subscription and a medium Little Cesar’s pizza to get what you assume we want. So… some variables or made-points I’d honestly agree with you on. Others not so much. But the beauty in being opinionated or having an opinion is the discussion. So for that I highly commend. Maybe it’ll be dope to conduct your very own survey… interview people! Again sweet reads👍🏾 thenewblacke.lite

  3. aolaniya says:

    Bianca,

    I am speechless. I agree with you on the notion that sex is a 2/3/4 way street…lol. On the topic of a woman “giving” a man sex, I meant that in terms of the woman consenting to the sexual act (we don’t support rape culture over here), but I do acknowledge the fact that in some cases the woman may initiate sex, requiring the mans consent.

    To reply to your statement about actually being able to have your cake and eat it too, I hate to say it, but you cant. Lol. It’s literally impossible. Once a cake is baked, it exists, and is assumed to be in your possession. Once you eat that cake, the cake no longer exists. Technically it exists in your stomach, but it will no longer be that red velvet cake with cream cheese icing you love you much. So again, you cannot physically have your cake and eat it too.

    For those who rely heavily on religion such as Christianity, the idea of having multiple connections with multiple people and then leaving the relationship once utility has decreased is taboo. I completely agree that people should focus more on forming a genuine bond/connection with their partner before marriage. But what do we tell the people who are dating the way Christ wants/courting? Often times people who are courting have established that marriage is their goal, so while forming that connection marriage will still be a lingering thought in their mind. This is not to say that they will force themselves into marriage with one another even if they lack the necessary bond to make a marriage last (although some people have made a habit of this).

    Contrary to your beliefs, I actually think we have similar feelings towards this topic, we just tend to express them differently.

    If you’re up to it, I think we should record the rest of this conversation!

    Blossom,
    Bimpe

  4. Bianca Bradshaw says:

    I’m down to record this conversation!

  5. Yafet Amanuel says:

    aye your jah like lit, good shit

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Hello, I'm Bimpe, a 22 year old professional with a love for affordable fashion and beauty, based in the DMV. This is a taste of myself, enjoy!

Let’s Connect:

Archives

Instagram

No images found!
Try some other hashtag or username

© Blossom, Bimpe.

Maintain your Household Budget Sheet with Easypeasy